Don't Freeze Up Talking to a Hot Woman
Posted: Monday, May 04, 2009
by Dan McDonley
The Charming Geek
Sweat starts beading up on your forehead. You start unconsciously clenching your fists in fear. Your feet are glued to the floor. Only moments ago you were the most entertaining fun guy in the group. Then it all changed as their really gorgeous friend comes over and starts talking to you. You start tripping over your words and you end up excusing yourself just to save face. What the hell! you think.
I hate to lay down this fact but as long as beautiful women intimidate you to the point you cant be yourself, you wont be successful in dating them. Why? It is about agenda. Ever notice women you are not interested often fall for you? It is because you are confidently yourself around them and have no agenda when you are with them. With a very beautiful woman she evokes in us this base desire to obtain her, to HAVE her. This creates a very predator prey relationship and what does prey do when around a predator? She runs, and runs fast.
There is a book I recently read called The Female Brain that explains that the part of a womans brain that sees and interprets non-verbal signals relating to social interaction such as body language, tonality, and intent, is ten times larger than the corresponding part of a mans brain. Women can sense when you are not being genuine or when you start having an agenda to HAVE her.
Some experts actually go so far to say that a relationship where you are extremely attracted to her wont ever work. I personally feel that is going too far. However they have a point. The more attracted you are the more agenda you will have and the less yourself you will be. So what is the antidote for HWS (Hot Woman Syndrome)?
The antidote is stop putting her up on a pedestal!!! If you knew she ripped the heads off of small animals in her spare time would you still be attracted to her? If that doesnt turn you off then insert any morally repugnant thing she could do and assume she just might. The fact is you dont know her. Even after dating her for a while you cant fool yourself that you know every skeleton in her closet! Understand you are attracted to her for her looks, but is that really enough for you? I know I want both an attractive woman and someone who has a personality I am attracted to. I dont know if I am attracted to her personality for quite some time. The problem is most guys find out the minimum about her and any faults are not immediately obvious. They then just assume her personality is up to their standards. Dont assume.
I go into interactions with beautiful women with genuine interest in who they are, without the assumption that I want to have any kind of romantic or sexual relationship with them. I need to get to know them to find out if they are up to my standards. I treat them the same way I treat a woman I am not attracted to in an interaction. I am every bit myself and I dont have an agenda with her. If I find out more about her that I like then I escalate as I do in interactions I have with less attractive women. No time do I put her on a pedestal above me. We are equal, period.
So do whatever you need to do to get rid of your agenda and stay true to being yourself when you are around an extremely beautiful woman. Personally I just assume she might have dismembered puppy heads in her purse. Yes I know I am a bit weird. It works for me though. I just don't tell her that.
Not everywoman lives up to my standards, just because she is really hot doesnt pre-approve her for anything in my mind. It shouldnt in your mind either. Take the time to find out what is interesting about her and appreciate it just like anyone else. Stay confidently and actively being yourself.
--------
Geeky guy Dan McDonley has coached hundreds of guys how to be a geek and still get the girl. If you want to dramatically improve your dating life and still be a geek, get your free Geek dating tips ecourse and discover 7 Mistakes YOU are making with WOMEN by going to ===> http://www.TheCharmingGeek.com
This Article has been viewed 439 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.